Helllooo Dance & the weekend

I love dances. They're always the best for a number of reasons:

-You can go crazy and scream and yell and dance around, and no one will think you're insane because everyone is doing the same.

-GREAT stress reliever, especially with friends.

-Get to meet and dance with people you usually don't talk to at school.

-Excercise! I'm sore right now!

However, I made a sad realization last night that this was technically my first high school dance. I know that most people would be ecstatic to be attending their first 'real' dance, but that's not the case with me. It's just one dance closer to the last high school dance.

I know I'm getting more and more pessimistic these days, but I can't help it )=

Ah vell.

Time to do homework....................... Piano in 4 hours. Haven't practiced all week. aaaaahhhh!

it's beeeen a whiiiiile

Hello blogger,

It's me. (=

I know it's been a while. Sorry for abandoning you for so long )= )= )= I miss you!
Being blinded by my frustration one month ago, I subconsciously decided to stop blogging, convincing myself that it was only adding to my stress. But now I am one twelfth of a year older, and much wiser.

I know we've had our ups and downs, but blogger, oh blogger, you mean a lot to meeeeeeeeeeeee.

School is tiring. so tiring. exhausting. I knew it would be difficult, but I guess I wasn't expecting it so soon.

This year is quite different from the rest. Perhaps it is because my environment is not at all new anymore, or maybe there isn't something in particular that I'm looking forward to, but I don't feel the same way I had last year, or the year before.

In 7th grade, I was excited and scared, but there was this exhilaration in feeling like a "big kid".

The night before the first day of 8th grade, I could hardly fall asleep. I remember lying there on my bed for 2 hours, not being able to surrender to unconsciousness. Again, the exhilaration.

Now it has been exactly 1 week and 13 hours since my first day of school, and I don't feel anything but tiredness. I can't say I am weary or dreading school, but if I had the choice, I would not go. I wish for summer again. If I had the choice to trade everything I have right now to go back in time and start 7th grade over, I would. Those two years of middle school were the best I ever had. I'm sure high school will be fun too. I have already laughed more than I had last month, but I feel a weight on me that I don't think will ever go away. Does this feeling come with age?

I don't know, but I do know I have to get crackin' at my Algebra 2 homework!!!

Hasta luego!

Stress stress stress

My stress level is so high right now. arghhh!!!
This summer was supposed to be my summer of productivity. I expected myself to do so many things. But now, with less than a month left, everywhere I look I see my failures- my barely touched guzheng, barely played saxophone, piano that I SWORE I would practice every single day in hopes of skipping a CM level again and proving my piano teacher wrong. My violin that I wanted to practice at least 3 times a week just to keep my violin teacher happy and redeem myself at the recital in October after failing last year... I come to my desk and see the opened pages of my Spanish textbook that I still can't understand. My Algebra 2 notes and workbooks that remind me of how bad I am at math. Daddy's right. I do suck at math. Even though I'm a year ahead and all that crap, I don't actually GET it. I just stumble through everything and get the grades.
I walk by the sewing machine and remember how I wanted to make a lot of clothes and design so much stuff... but I only made one lonely pair of pants.
My Cerritos College Catalog on the ground that I threw days ago in frustration because I didn't sign up for my classes in time, and now they're all full. My entire book shelf that's constantly in my face, filled with all the books I never read, the Chinese I never studied, the French I never finished.
I go to sleep at midnight every night VOWING to not do the same the next day so that I can actually keep up my morning routine, but failing myself over and over again. )=

The school year hasn't even started and I'm already super stressed. What will I be like when I have 7 classes in the day and a shitload of homework? AGHHASLDHWUITOEHREOSHFLDSKHF

What have I been up to?

It feels like I've been so busy this past... week, but when I look back and ask myself what I have been doing, it all comes down to:





nothing.

Really, I haven't been productive. Yes, I've been quite successful in avoiding facebook and practicing more violin, but I can't think of any major accomplishments.

I started practicing saxophone yesterday, and I spent almost all of today TRYING to learn pop songs by ear.
I finally gave up because I am now more sure that I'm semi- tone deaf, so I looked up the score for Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat's "Lucky". It's written in D Major for piano, so I had to transpose it to the key of A Major to play on E flat alto sax. So far so good! Maybe when I perfect it I will post a video :D

But THIS duet is the cutest yet!

Please help my school win some very needed $!

We're trying to build a multi-media center and we need to raise a lot of money fast so that it can be built before I graduate!

Kohl's is giving away $500,000 to the school with the most votes, so please vote and support us! Gretchen Whitney High, Cerritos CA

Painting! :D

So I finally got around to painting, and I decided to try oil painting! I've never used oil colors before, even in my art class I took in kindergarten.

Yes, I know there is a white spot in the branches but I was too lazy to fill it in.

I'm v. proud of myself (= I used MAX Grumbacher oil colors that Jie ji and I bought at the side walk sale of Art Warehouse(?).

)= )=

'Tis Friday.

Oh woe!
Oh woeful woeful woeful day,
Most lamentable day, most hateful day!
Never was seen so black a day as this.
Oh woeful day, Oh woeful day.

BECAUSE MY LETTER DIDN'T COME!! and I have violin in half an hour )=