domestic violence / abuse blurb

It’s always easier to detect those things in hindsight, especially from a third-person perspective. But what if you’re the victim and it’s happening to you right now? What if you mistake fear for butterflies in your stomach because you’re so madly in love? What if you take the harsh words and hurtful comments as constructive criticism and harmless attempts at bettering you as a person, in order to improve your relationship? What if the unpredictability of their moods seems like just a minor, even quirky flaw, unimportant in the grand scheme of your future together? After all, love is blind.

Physical abuse is easier to identify. There are visible scars and obvious wounds as evidence to the world. But what about emotional, verbal, sexual, and mental abuse? How do you distinguish these equally painful forms of mistreatment from just having a partner who happens to be extremely protective, blunt, affectionate, or expressive? Because when you are head-over-heels enamored by this person, you excuse their faults, you take the blame for their mistakes, and you don’t realize you are the victim of their abuse.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" is one of my all-time favorite songs. Not just for its cheery beat and McFerrin's awesome accent, but for its super intelligent lyrics!

Okay, you can get the message from the song title, and okay, some guy is telling you not to worry and to be happy. BUT STOP. It's not as simple as that. Or maybe it is and I've just taken an extraordinarily long time to take his advice.

I'm a generally content person, and I've survived breakups much worse than this one, but there are still those moments when your mind gets caught in a limbo, when your train of thought gets separated before reaching its destination, floating aimlessly between one idea and the next, when suddenly your entire brain shifts gears, loses direction, and is consumed by a tunnel of memories. At least, that's how I envision my mind to be like. But what I mean is that I've been kind of sad a lonely lately.

But I had a revelation the other day: we can choose to be happy. Shit happens and life sucks some times, but we can choose how we react to those circumstances. Do we let bad things dictate how we feel? Or do we take a step back and choose for ourselves? We can choose to be happy, regardless of the situation. And what's so awesome about that, is that once we make that decision, things really do get better.

I've begun working on the dreaded college application essays that plague the first semester of senior year. Everyone loathes them, and they're probably one of the most complained-about things in high school. I mean, I've been hearing about how awful they are since 7th grade! And they're tedious because you have to sit for hours, writing and re-writing, editing and revising personal statements and supplements, over and over again. So you can sit there and complain and lament and be frustrated and procrastinate and life will suck.

Or you can choose to be happy. You can relax your brain from thinking about all those summer assignments, what you have to eat for lunch, the chaos in Egypt, and just enjoy the time that the college applications give you to think about yourself. Be selfish with the amount of brain space you allot to yourself. It's okay to be narcissistic here. All of the prompts are crafted so that colleges can learn more about you, as a person, and no one knows you better than you, so all you have to do is think about you! (Wow that's a lot of you's!) Your past, your present, and your future. It's really quite enjoyable, but only if you allow it to be.

This is mostly a note to myself, and the future me, when things get stressful and shit blows. Just remember: don't worry, be happy.

Bruno Mars lyrics are stupid

Let me start off by saying that I love to sing Bruno Mars' songs (or any pop songs, for that matter), loudly and obnoxiously in the car when I'm speeding down the freeway. And his songs, I find, are especially great for that because they're just so... singable.

But have you stopped to listen to the lyrics? As with almost all pop songs these days, they're ridiculous.

The following is from his recent single, "Treasure":

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should be smiling

A girl like you should never look so blue 

Wtf. Just because this girl is aesthetically appealing, she isn't allowed to display her emotions? Is she required to always plaster on a smile, even when she is obviously unhappy? If that's the case, I hope no one ever accuses me of being pretty.

I'm not even going to go to "Marry You" or "Grenade" because those are just so dumb. There's an utterly hilarious Youtube video by Kingsley about "Grenade" that is my go-to source of entertainment.