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Monday, May 31, 2010

exhausting day!

me: yeah yeah
7:59 PM this was the most exhausting day of my life
quick summary:
got woke up at 8 AM
12 PM- got rejected by like 5 people to go to the movies with me
8:00 PM 1 PM- Jimmy and i go to movies at lbtc
3:40 pm- finish watching prince of persia
go shopping
4pm- start WALKING back to cerritos
Vivian: ...
you walked.
6:30 PM- went to my uncles house to pick oranges, and i had to climb the stupid trees and i got cut
7pm got home and very hungry, asked my sister to make me a sandwich but she left to go OUt to eat with colosseum and friends
so i had to make my own sandwich
and my dad just ditched me
8:02 PM so i'm home alone
Vivian: ..where'd your dad go?
me: my uncle bought a new house
they went to go see it
Vivian: why don't you go see it too.
me: cuz i'm tired
i just wanna eat my oranges!!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Zinch and other online scholarship thingies

so i'm preparing for college by applying for a lot of scholarships using websites such as Zinch, Naviance Succeed, and ScholarshipExperts.

use my referral link!

Friday, May 28, 2010


i was going to post it on fb, but decided against it.

so! short blurb about random things.

i get annoyed so easily these days. i'm cheerful and giddy one moment, and pissed off the next by just the TINIEST little thing someone does. and i know it's unreasonable and child-ish to act this way, but i can't help it. AND I'M NOT PMS-ING.

little things that piss me off:
-when annoying people talk to me
-when people i care about don't talk to me
-when people ask me if i'm okay- when i'm obviously not okay, or even worse, when i am!
-when people whine/complain to me
-when people don't take my whining and complaining
-when people answer in one word answers
-when people touch my hair from the top of my head
-when people ask how many colors my hair is/ state how many colors my hair is
-when people randomly act really nice to me (LOL)
-when people call me by my old name
-when i say hi to someone and they don't/ don't see/hear
-when people don't hear what i say the first 2 times

as you can see, i have some major issues. haha!
it's kind of hard for me to write about stuff that annoys me right now because i am feeling much more chipper already. GOSH MOOD SWING.

i probably shouldn't publish this on fb, because it might offend some people who have done things under my annoying list. D;

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Senioritis in 8th Grade?

Lately, more than a few people have told me that I've been slacking off and not focusing; that I am getting "senioritis" in 8TH GRADE.

It's true that I have a B (now a B+) in history, and a border-line A in science (which I HAVE to raise up in order to get into Bio Honors next year), and that I always want to sleep and I hate violin now.

I don't know why it's happening. Well, maybe I have an idea of why, but that's still no excuse. Why can't I be what my parents and teachers want me to be? =(

But I realized a while ago that I could never do that. It would be a dream come true for everyone if I:

-studied for 3 hours everyday
-practiced piano for 3 hours everyday
-practiced violin for 3 hours everyday
-practiced saxophone for 3 hours everyday
-practiced Chinese zither for 3 hours everyday
-played outside for 1 hour everyday
-read for 1 hour everyday
-read ahead in textbooks for 1 hour everyday

etc etc etc.

But that's already 18 hours right there. + 8 hours of school=26 hours. There are only 24 hours in a day. SEE? No matter what I do, I will never be any of my teachers' dream student or a perfect daughter. I guess this is what being Asian does to you!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Other People's Blogs

So today I stumbled upon some blogs of the seniors from school. They're all quite interesting. I realized that almost everyone's blog is the same. These people all seem cheerful or bitchy or whatever at school, but they all kind of become emo and sad-ish and well, not their school-selves. Their posts and ramblings are really similar to mine.
I wonder why !

For the past YEAR or so, I've been saying that I hate violin, that I want to quit. But for some reason, I always agree to pay my teacher at the beginning of each month, and say that I will quit after this month... But I always seem to enjoy playing it WHILE I am playing it, it's just the THOUGHT of playing it that makes me not want to. Maybe I am just lazy.

And I'm still always sleepy, but I never want to nap when I get home, and I always end up sleeping at the same time at night.

I hate fridays. So depressing!

But my life is good, and I should stop complaining.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Over, already? part 2

If I remembered correctly, I posted something called "Over, already?" 2 years ago when I was graduating elementary school.

...And now I'm "graduating" middle school, in exactly one month. (We really don't have a middle school graduation at Whitney because we just continue on to high school at Whitney basically doing the same thing.) I don't know if I'm more sad that I'm so old or if I'm not so sad because I'll still be with my superawesomelycool friends.

Of course, some of my favorite people will be leaving next month which REALLY REALLY sucks.

But life is for moving on/along. I hope I can just let some of these things go and carry on with life. But this really sucks. I've been dreading going to high school since the start of this school year, and even though I've been here the entire time, and lived through all the slow parts of this year, I still ask myself where all the days went. The hours pass by slowly, but the days, weeks, months, and years fly by.


Friday, May 14, 2010

Why I don't like people, a note I posted on Facebook.

Generally, people annoy me. No matter who you are or what you've done for me, you have probably annoyed me at one point in our lives. No offense.

People irritate me because I can never completely understand anyone. We will always disagree on something, and most people are stubborn. I'm not saying that I don't get along with people, it's just that everyone has differences, and sometimes it's hard to see why the other person thinks the way that they do.

Maybe that's why I don't see myself ever getting married or getting into a long-term relationship. There would be too many dissimilarities between us for me to stand being together for the rest of my life. How do people handle living with the faults of someone for 239462364823642 years? I get annoyed to death simply by the way someone looks at me, or a tone of voice they use. How would I cope with domestic arguments, which are sure to occur? Hypocritically, I am a much less of a perfect person, and I would annoy my spouse more than they could ever annoy me. As for relationships, I feel like I (would) lose interest in the guy after a couple of days; when the initial lust and chase goes away. That probably means I never really loved him. But why would I get into a relationship with someone I truly love? The relationship will end someday, and it probably won't end well. Why would I risk our deep friendship for something that I know won't be worth it?

Even if you were a perfect person, you would annoy me by how perfect you are because you remind me of my inadequacies. That's why I hate most love stories and novels. The guy is always perfect. First of all, how is that even possible? and second, wouldn't a boyfriend who is always right, super smart, and extremely hot make me look bad? Why would I want that?

Regardless of how open a person you are, you are confusing. It frustrates me when I don't know what you are thinking at all times. I wish I knew everyone through and through. No matter who you are, I would appreciate it if I knew more about you, even if I am not familiar with your existence right now. And to the people that I do know well: I wish I knew you better. I wish I could ask random people about everything going on in their lives without seeming like a creeper.

To be honest, I wrote this while thinking of someone. I hope that she will read this. She probably won't. But I want her to. I dont' know why.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

More random thoughts...

I think blogging is really healthy, but sometimes I get annoyed because I don't know what I should put in my blog, and what to put in my journal.

I guess the only difference is that I blog to the world, and I write for myself, and for my future children and grandchildren to read, and see how lame I am.

I wonder how long I can keep this blog up for. I know people who have been blogging for 6 years...

I know I sound whiny and emo often, but I guess that is because when I'm not feeling that, I don't have the need to blog.

Other than the fact that I'm feeling like shit right now because I'm sick (again), I'm doing okay.

Today is my dad's birthday, and I can't help feeling guilty x 29347829374. I never knew what day my dad's birthday was, until last Monday, when my mom told me so. So basically, for the past unknown years, my family has celebrated everyone's birthday except for his. I feel really messed up.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I feel bad as well because I'm putting more effort into my mom's day than Daddy's birthday. I picked roses for Mama today, and I'm setting up a rose bath for her tomorrow. My sister and I are also baking her some peanut butter cookies. AS for my dad, I really didn't get him anything. My brother-in-law was the only one who did shit for him. Colosseum is baking a loquat pie right now, and giving him some adapter-cord-technology-that-i-don't-know-about thing.

I'm always feeling guilty about something =/ but I should, because I am a very sad person.

My life has been really changed this year.
Gosh it's unbelievable. I don't want this school year to end. GAH. I'M 14 HOLY LDSKFHWE. So many important people will be leaving me in June. And they're all going for something. They are all trying to achieve something, that I don't know about, while I'm staying at home, going on with my life without moving towards something that I really want. What do I want?

Life is short. I try to live it as best as possible now, but I can't help regretting not appreciating life more as a kid, when I had less responsibilities and worries and crap...