The more that time passes by, the more I can not believe what happened.
After pondering the subject for a while, I think, "Oh, okay... I got it." It's surprising for me still, and I'm not pleased about it, but I kind of understand. When I forget about said subject for an hour, or even just minutes, and then re-enter the topic in my head, I am shocked all over again.
I am still internally debating whether this knowledge is good for me. I guess you could say I am not so innocent anymore.
There's nothing I can do anyway.