My stress level is so high right now. arghhh!!!
This summer was supposed to be my summer of productivity. I expected myself to do so many things. But now, with less than a month left, everywhere I look I see my failures- my barely touched guzheng, barely played saxophone, piano that I SWORE I would practice every single day in hopes of skipping a CM level again and proving my piano teacher wrong. My violin that I wanted to practice at least 3 times a week just to keep my violin teacher happy and redeem myself at the recital in October after failing last year... I come to my desk and see the opened pages of my Spanish textbook that I still can't understand. My Algebra 2 notes and workbooks that remind me of how bad I am at math. Daddy's right. I do suck at math. Even though I'm a year ahead and all that crap, I don't actually GET it. I just stumble through everything and get the grades.
I walk by the sewing machine and remember how I wanted to make a lot of clothes and design so much stuff... but I only made one lonely pair of pants.
My Cerritos College Catalog on the ground that I threw days ago in frustration because I didn't sign up for my classes in time, and now they're all full. My entire book shelf that's constantly in my face, filled with all the books I never read, the Chinese I never studied, the French I never finished.
I go to sleep at midnight every night VOWING to not do the same the next day so that I can actually keep up my morning routine, but failing myself over and over again. )=
The school year hasn't even started and I'm already super stressed. What will I be like when I have 7 classes in the day and a shitload of homework? AGHHASLDHWUITOEHREOSHFLDSKHF
3 comments:
Uh...calm down? Perhaps you expected too much out of yourself. You play FOUR instruments?! :o That’s four more than I can play...
Foreign languages take time and practice to learn, but I thought you took French and not Spanish, or are you taking both?!
And I thought you were good at math (few people get 600s on the STAR testing). If you can “stumble through” and still get good grades, that’s pretty impressive. Plus, if you really needed the help, you could always find someone at school who’s willing to help you when you need it. Algebra II/Trig IS harder, but it’s not end-of-the-world hard. My grade was 5% lower than it was in Geometry (even though I never really paid attention or studied in Geometry and actually focused and studied in Algebra II/Trig), but I suspect that it has to do with how the tests were written. (Stupid conics!) Interesting thing about math, in my opinion, is that it’s not about how much you know but about how much time you spend into practicing the basics.
As for the sewing, Chinese, and French, can’t help you much there. I don’t know anything at all about sewing or French and the only Chinese I do is more like reinforcement to make sure I don’t forget what I already know.
Maybe you should consider having a list of priorities and put everything you want to do on it in order of importance. You can do your morning routine, whatever it is, but set aside a few hours or so afterwards to finish some things on your list.
You’re taking seven classes next year?! And you’re entering freshman year, so while you’ll get more homework, don’t over-anticipate. I remember the hype when I was going into 9th grade. Lots of homework! Lots of tests! Everything counts for college from now on! At the end of the year, I looked back and thought, “It wasn’t THAT much homework. The tests were okay...” And I learned that most colleges don’t even pay attention to grades from freshman year -.- .
I guess what’s really humbling is that you’re more worried about entering your freshman year than I am about entering my junior year, which according to my parents, is going to be apocalyptically difficult (“You’ll be lucky to sleep every night,” they say...).
Anyway, rather than look at what you didn’t do this summer, you should look back at what you did get to do. I don’t know what you did this summer (because if I did, I’d be a REAL stalker), but chances are, you had some enjoyable moments. Did you read a nice book? Have fun with friends? Watch TV? Find something interesting on the Internet?
And yes, this is a long comment. Maybe everything I’ve written up there is junk to you, and that’s all right. I hope you can at least put things into perspective though. Hopefully, you’re less stressed now than when you made that blog post (I suspect that your blogging might actually curb your stress levels). Anyway, I hope that I’ve at least somewhat made you feel better than before you read this (I certainly hope I didn’t make things worse :o ).
Used roughly 20 minutes I could have spent doing something more productive =P
thanks bob, yup i have calmed down a lot LOL. i write at the height of my stress and extreme emotions, and afterwards i feel much better ^^
but thank you
wow, sounds similar to somebody I know. Call me if you want to talk about exaggerated emphasis on productivity in your family.
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