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Thursday, September 16, 2010

it's beeeen a whiiiiile

Hello blogger,

It's me. (=

I know it's been a while. Sorry for abandoning you for so long )= )= )= I miss you!
Being blinded by my frustration one month ago, I subconsciously decided to stop blogging, convincing myself that it was only adding to my stress. But now I am one twelfth of a year older, and much wiser.

I know we've had our ups and downs, but blogger, oh blogger, you mean a lot to meeeeeeeeeeeee.

School is tiring. so tiring. exhausting. I knew it would be difficult, but I guess I wasn't expecting it so soon.

This year is quite different from the rest. Perhaps it is because my environment is not at all new anymore, or maybe there isn't something in particular that I'm looking forward to, but I don't feel the same way I had last year, or the year before.

In 7th grade, I was excited and scared, but there was this exhilaration in feeling like a "big kid".

The night before the first day of 8th grade, I could hardly fall asleep. I remember lying there on my bed for 2 hours, not being able to surrender to unconsciousness. Again, the exhilaration.

Now it has been exactly 1 week and 13 hours since my first day of school, and I don't feel anything but tiredness. I can't say I am weary or dreading school, but if I had the choice, I would not go. I wish for summer again. If I had the choice to trade everything I have right now to go back in time and start 7th grade over, I would. Those two years of middle school were the best I ever had. I'm sure high school will be fun too. I have already laughed more than I had last month, but I feel a weight on me that I don't think will ever go away. Does this feeling come with age?

I don't know, but I do know I have to get crackin' at my Algebra 2 homework!!!

Hasta luego!
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