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Monday, July 12, 2010


SO, I promised myself I would TRY TO be completely honest for 7 days. Now, 6 days. I will avoid lying, even little white lies. Because you don't know this; no one knows this besides my journal, but I lie A LOT. It's really quite crazy how much I lie. And all of it sounds so real, that sometimes I believe my lies. (Yeah, I have bad memory, and when I tell a story over and over again to people, with my lies incorporated in it, I just forget about the truth...) It happens quite often.

SO, for the next 6 days, I will be honest to myself and others.


I know I'm lazy )= Mother is right. I sit on my butt all day long when I should be practicing violin or doing piano theory. I read my guiltily-interesting-but-shallow books until 12 AM, and then not wake up early enough to go running. I kick myself for not running that day, and promise to run the next, but somehow the same routine goes on, until my body is so used to waking up at 10 AM that I get mad at Mama for waking me up at 8. And I still don't go running at 8 because I'm pissed at Mama for waking me up. (I hate getting woken up by people. Alarms are okay, because they're set by myself. I hate people telling me what to do.) And then I feel guilty for getting mad at Mama when I should be mad at myself. So I get mad at myself and I sit here and type this. LOL.

But I'm mad at mama anyways for telling me I should study more. NOW, I think I have a good excuse to be upset: Firstly, I DO study. I stay after my shift at the library even though I'm starving, and I look for educational books on Algebra II, Trigonometry, Pre-Calculus, Spanish, etc. I go to Borders after the library and sit there and study math. I come home with the books I borrowed from the library and do exercises from them. I take SAT II Chinese practice tests online. I do those SAT daily practice questions that are emailed to me. But apparently that's not enough, because I always save time to read my Allure and Glamour and InStyle magazines at the end of the day. )= I LIKE MY MAGAZINES. GOSH. (btw, Seventeen Magazine has daily freebie contests at You might need codewords for some stuff, which you can find in the magazine. Just go to the library or borders to look at one and write down the codewords. ^_^ Also, most of the codewords are a part of the name of the prize. LOL.)

SO GO AWAY, MOTHER. I'm exaggerating a little though. My parents are usually pretty chill when it comes to academics. My mom just likes having authority over people, and telling them what to do/ should do. It just so happens that I hate it when people tell me what to, because I inherited her genes, and I like being the boss too.

Okay. Gonna go read THE COLLEGE HANDBOOK, which is like 3 times bigger than the dictionary -____-. But then I reward myself by reading INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY. (If you didn't know, I'm really interested in psychology and therapy, but I am banned by Mother from becoming a psychologist.)
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